Thursday, May 29, 2014
Wednesday, April 30, 2014
Just to Keep you Real
"I am so proud of you".
Daphne smiled at him because she loved him, but he was not there at all. She imagined his face so close to hers, his eyes dancing with her darkness and his short hand cupping her fingers. She sometimes really lost it when she saw him hurting and she couldn't go to him. Hell, she couldn't even talk to him. It was by the rules that she had set for herself.
"I am proud of you." Daphne whispered in her room.
She whispered to something, a dust bunny or a cobweb; but Daphne was telling the wrong objects, while the object of her affection was far away from her. She leaned against the wall feeling the coldness through the wood paneling. What was she going to do now?
"If I could talk to you again, would I tell you?" she asked herself.
Her words were as silly as her tugging and twining fingers. She couldn't keep still, she keep pulling strands of hair away from her head and rolling them around her fingers. She was so nervous, she was so frustrated that she just couldn't sit any longer.
"I have to go..I have to get out of here now!"
The door was broken. The dog had been caught chewing on the bottom left corner of the wood. She kicked him but it was too late. Something that he did made the door stick every time she tried to open it. She would have to pull really hard and jerk the knob. She was doing this now.
"Blasted door! Does everything have to be an act of congress?"
"Yes, it does". a voice spoke from behind her.
Daphne turned because she was instantly thrust into fear. She saw nothing, and this was what she expected to see. She was hearing him here and there, randomly invading her space. Even though it startled her, she welcomed his beautiful intrusion.
"I know that you are not really here, but I wish you were. I wish that you would appear and scare the bejesus out of me. It would just be worth it.
Daphne stood for a moment and then turned to walk out the door.
"Actually", she said "I don't really want you here because you hurt me so much".
Daphne waited a moment at the doorway. She scanned the apartment with her eyes. Her sadness was creeping out of her eyes and it radiated on her face. Every time she thought about how he abandoned her, she couldn't stop the ugly feelings. It was a mixture of intense and unconditional love and a hatred. She had loved so hard that when abandoned, she hated him.
"How could you have done that to me? Now you know that Karma is a bitch, huh?"
Daphne was cruel. Her hurt was a knife that had festered with sepsis and mold. But Daphne didn't really want to wish him any ill will. Now she wanted to kiss him again. The emotions twisted and turned and catapulted down like a descending roller coaster. Then it was up again, and she was in love on a Friday. However far away, she would always love him.
Now she had her iPod in her hand. Absently, she had picked the device up and was flipping through songs. The Cure was there, with that tragic love song.
" I always guess them right."
Daphne put the ear buds in her ears and went out to tend to her garden. As she dug holes into the earth, she fantasized about trying to bury it again.
Daphne knew that it would never work, it never did. He would always be a part of her, taunting her mind with a very painful love that she never expected.
Daphne smiled at him because she loved him, but he was not there at all. She imagined his face so close to hers, his eyes dancing with her darkness and his short hand cupping her fingers. She sometimes really lost it when she saw him hurting and she couldn't go to him. Hell, she couldn't even talk to him. It was by the rules that she had set for herself.
"I am proud of you." Daphne whispered in her room.
She whispered to something, a dust bunny or a cobweb; but Daphne was telling the wrong objects, while the object of her affection was far away from her. She leaned against the wall feeling the coldness through the wood paneling. What was she going to do now?
"If I could talk to you again, would I tell you?" she asked herself.
Her words were as silly as her tugging and twining fingers. She couldn't keep still, she keep pulling strands of hair away from her head and rolling them around her fingers. She was so nervous, she was so frustrated that she just couldn't sit any longer.
"I have to go..I have to get out of here now!"
The door was broken. The dog had been caught chewing on the bottom left corner of the wood. She kicked him but it was too late. Something that he did made the door stick every time she tried to open it. She would have to pull really hard and jerk the knob. She was doing this now.
"Blasted door! Does everything have to be an act of congress?"
"Yes, it does". a voice spoke from behind her.
Daphne turned because she was instantly thrust into fear. She saw nothing, and this was what she expected to see. She was hearing him here and there, randomly invading her space. Even though it startled her, she welcomed his beautiful intrusion.
"I know that you are not really here, but I wish you were. I wish that you would appear and scare the bejesus out of me. It would just be worth it.
Daphne stood for a moment and then turned to walk out the door.
"Actually", she said "I don't really want you here because you hurt me so much".
Daphne waited a moment at the doorway. She scanned the apartment with her eyes. Her sadness was creeping out of her eyes and it radiated on her face. Every time she thought about how he abandoned her, she couldn't stop the ugly feelings. It was a mixture of intense and unconditional love and a hatred. She had loved so hard that when abandoned, she hated him.
"How could you have done that to me? Now you know that Karma is a bitch, huh?"
Daphne was cruel. Her hurt was a knife that had festered with sepsis and mold. But Daphne didn't really want to wish him any ill will. Now she wanted to kiss him again. The emotions twisted and turned and catapulted down like a descending roller coaster. Then it was up again, and she was in love on a Friday. However far away, she would always love him.
Now she had her iPod in her hand. Absently, she had picked the device up and was flipping through songs. The Cure was there, with that tragic love song.
" I always guess them right."
Daphne put the ear buds in her ears and went out to tend to her garden. As she dug holes into the earth, she fantasized about trying to bury it again.
Daphne knew that it would never work, it never did. He would always be a part of her, taunting her mind with a very painful love that she never expected.
Monday, March 31, 2014
Here is the blade. Shall you run me through?
You have always been such an enigma. I have written story after story about you, never growing tired of your characters. You are Gavin, Pablo and you are Lawrence. I find your face in the entryway to my dreams.
Perhaps you shall be there for many years to come and I shall weave your substance into thousands of stories, poems and quotes, only time can show your fate in many dreams, many enchanted forests and in bellies of dark mechanical beasts.
If I should go away forever,you only have to say it. I will grant your wish. My stories will change and the vessels of the monster will purge themselves. In ace of your aching heart, I shall write some other scene-something that is a shadow of some other emotion in-related to you. I shall definitely go away into history as if I had never been formed.
But if you do not wish it, I will stay in the shadows while storms rage from within...my heart,my flesh and my soul is a sepulture for the death in you.
Wednesday, March 26, 2014
Tormented-Broken-Dead
"Are you still tormented?"
"Yes, I am still terribly tormented."
Macie dropped her head and stared at her fingers. She always liked to look at her hands; she imagined them to be intertwined with his fingers. A knotted mass of the most beautiful thing on earth. She was silly. The last time she saw his picture, she focused on his hands. She looked at his hands and his lips because she could not see his eyes.
Her other was quiet. Macie looked up to see the dead girl watching her. Macie wanted to say something but her words were tired. They had been coming out through her fingers in such a torrent that her brain had started to hurt.
Her other opened her lips and Macie could see the darkness. "Macie, you must put this thing to rest. You know it is for the best."
"I cannot betray him like this." Macie's face was a mess of pain. Her forehead scrunched up in defense. If her anger could make the dead girl go away then she could keep her torment. She could put it in the bone box, within the meaty drum and the dead girl could never find it. Macie could hide it.
"Macie, listen to me." the dead girl got close, close enough that Macie could smell the cemetary on her friend's skin. She was pale and her red hair contrasted with her dead flesh. Macie focused on the dead girl's freckles like before. She liked the freckles.
" Listen to me!" The dead girl touched Macie on the arm making her jump. "You have to let it go."
Macie looked into the dead girl's green eyes and grew angry. "No!"
"Macie, you are still broken."
"I know, Anna. But we are the broken girls."
Anna grew sad and then she spoke very firmly. "I am not broken, Macie. I am dead."
"Yes, I am still terribly tormented."
Macie dropped her head and stared at her fingers. She always liked to look at her hands; she imagined them to be intertwined with his fingers. A knotted mass of the most beautiful thing on earth. She was silly. The last time she saw his picture, she focused on his hands. She looked at his hands and his lips because she could not see his eyes.
Her other was quiet. Macie looked up to see the dead girl watching her. Macie wanted to say something but her words were tired. They had been coming out through her fingers in such a torrent that her brain had started to hurt.
Her other opened her lips and Macie could see the darkness. "Macie, you must put this thing to rest. You know it is for the best."
"I cannot betray him like this." Macie's face was a mess of pain. Her forehead scrunched up in defense. If her anger could make the dead girl go away then she could keep her torment. She could put it in the bone box, within the meaty drum and the dead girl could never find it. Macie could hide it.
"Macie, listen to me." the dead girl got close, close enough that Macie could smell the cemetary on her friend's skin. She was pale and her red hair contrasted with her dead flesh. Macie focused on the dead girl's freckles like before. She liked the freckles.
" Listen to me!" The dead girl touched Macie on the arm making her jump. "You have to let it go."
Macie looked into the dead girl's green eyes and grew angry. "No!"
"Macie, you are still broken."
"I know, Anna. But we are the broken girls."
Anna grew sad and then she spoke very firmly. "I am not broken, Macie. I am dead."
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